Little Johnny jokes

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said
his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season
emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus
occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is
Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on
and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! ! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnn how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

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Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station
where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a
wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture
him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."