Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Via email, from my friend Karen.....


1. We have absolutely NO idea where our purse is. (which is why I carry my lipstick, ID and money in my pocket instead)

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move evah. (OK.. everything but the "Woo-Hoo" part)

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass- and honestly believe we could do it. (DAMN STRAIGHT! I'll get your ass for something! I don't know what it is... but I'll think of SOMETHING!)

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago. (Just remember not to ACT like the homeless hooker, ladies)

5. We drop our 3AM sub sandwich on the floor (which we're eating even though we're not the least bit hungry), pick it up, and eat it anyway. (When you're drunk, doesn't the 5 second rule get extended to 5 minutes?)

6. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much. (Thus, the title of this post)

7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" (Even the ones you've never heard before)

8. We've found the deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us. (Nanophysics! OMG! How interesting!)

9. The man we're flirting with used to be our 5th grade teacher. (OK- I've never done this one. My 5th grade teacher was an African-American woman I affectionately now refer to as "The worst teacher I EVER had")

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to us. (See any Castle party if you have any doubts. Fortunately, this is just NOT an uncontrollable urge)

11. Our eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own, so we keep them half-closed, thinking it looks exotically sexy. (Well, it's better than using toothpicks, and less painful too)

12. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become REALLY good at it. (Never done this one either- smoking is nasty)

13. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's because we can no longer taste the gin. (!!@*&*&%$$ Bartenders!)

14. We think that we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor- or mop. (Or dashboard, or the wall, or the table, or the birdbath...)

15. We start every conversation with a booming "Don't take this the wrong way, BUT..." ("You look really fat in those jeans!" *quickly followed up by #3 above*)

16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it. (Who in the HELL puts the lid down anyway? I have a hard enough time getting my boys to put the seat down, much less the lid!)

17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves. (Used in conjunction with #6)

18. We are tired, so we just sit on the floor wherever we happen to be standing, and take a little nap. (I just need a little nappy-poo... m'kay?)

19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly jeans to cut down on the time we're in the bathroom away from our drink. (Priorities, ladies! Priorities!)

20. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight. (DUH! What else could it be? I've been walking since I was like, ONE. I'm WAY older and more mature than that now.)


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