Wednesday, December 21, 2005

My Little Man

Kevin is 5.
He's "all boy", as the saying goes. This morning I had a little conversation with him I thought you'd all find interesting. My account of it won't do it justice- I'm not as good as Bill or Lex at recalling funny incidents. Just imagine yourself having a purely innocent conversation with a 5 year old, which suddenly resembles a conversation with a 25 year old instead. oi......

This morning I opened his door and snuggled up next to him in his bed to wake him up. He rolled over, placing his left hand riiiiight on top of my right breast. OOPS. *oh crap! what should I do? move it? ignore it? say something?*

Before I could do anything, Kevin said "Mommy- are you pregnant?"


"No.. Kevin, I am definitely NOT pregnant. Why?" (note to self: NEVER AGAIN ask Kevin "why")

"Well, because this thing is so squishy"... he says, while poking and squeezing my boob. *GAH!!!!!!! Squishy it is, but I can't say I ever thought my child would describe it that way. NOW WHAT!?!?!?!!*

"Um.. Kevin... it's my BOOB. It's supposed to be squishy. Now STOP PLAYING WITH IT. You're not supposed to touch your Mommy's boobs.", I said, face turning incredibly red, marveling at the absurdity of the words that just escaped my mouth. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have to say "You're not supposed to touch your Mommy's boobs". Then again, I also never thought I'd have to say "Stop wiping your boogers on the wall", or "Quit playing with your penis" either, but I have. Repeatedly.

"OK, I'll stop... but can I see them, then, Mommy? Your boobies?", he says, giggling.

DOUBLE DOH!!!!!!!!!!

"NO. NO. NO. NO! You cannot see my boobs, Kevin!", I answered, wondering who turned up the heat in the bedroom just then.

I jumped up, left his room, and retreated to my bathroom, horrified at the thought of my Little Man asking to see my breastessess (and laughing too, because it was so damn funny and innocent).

Suddenly, it hit me:


To all the parents of the little girls Kevin will meet during his lifetime... let me just go ahead and apologize now.

Kevin is indeed my Little Man. LOL!!!


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