What does it mean when.....

... you get word search hits like:
"embarrassing pee puddle"??
I'm just guessing, but wouldn't ANY pee puddle be embarrassing?

"what sleeping on the left side of the bed mean"??
Hopefully, it means your sig other is on the right side of the bed. Sleeping on the left side of the bed is NOT to be confused with sleeping on the "wrong" side of the bed, as opposed to the "right" side.

"bacon splinter removal"??
Wha? How in the HELL do you get a bacon splinter? No... No... I don't want to know.

"jiggy jiggy jiggy"??
Shake yo' groove thang, baby! Either that, or you're watching a bunch of parrot puppets sing at Disney.

"squirt pregnant mom"??
Depends on what you're squirting her with.

"tightening nipples men"??
NO NO NO..... NO NIPPLE CLAMPS! NO NO NO! No hot wax either. NO NO NO!

"she lay down on the massage table"??
Why, yes I did, earlier today... and it was MAGNIFICENT. I'm still purring.... Thank you Sven!

"kittens in bikinis"??
Not this kitten. Unless you mean panties- then we'll talk.

"sinus cavity drainage tongue tapping against roof of mouth"??
NASTY NASTY NASTY. Go see a REAL doctor, forchrissakes!

"man with 5 penises"??
Sounds like he needs a harum, or a really good surgeon.

"pull over the car my dad wants to break up with your sister"??
Dad's breaking up with your sister? Just wait until I tell MOM!

Most surprising, my Number One word search is currently "Jason LaRue", catcher for the Cincinnati Reds. I've never written about him specifically, but he was in a series of pictures from Opening Day this year, with President Bush and some local wounded war heroes.