Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Just 'a Swingin......

In a couple of days, I'll be an official "single" again. We had our final court date yesterday. Everything was signed and approved by the judge, but it will still take a couple of days for the paperwork to make its way through the court system.

It was... bittersweet.

Yes, I wanted the divorce. Yes, I'm glad it's finally over. But am I "happy" about the end of my marriage? No. I never married him with the idea of divorcing him 11 years later- it just worked out that way. I certainly didn't intend on ending my marriage the way it did either. That just sorta happened too. I'm not sorry I got married- I have two beautiful boys as a result of that marriage. But I am sorry for things falling apart the way they did. It's caused a lot of heartache and pain for a LOT of people. I hope that over time that pain eases, and we can all get along again.

I used to love my husband. It's heartbreaking when you come to the realization that you don't anymore. You stop and wonder why, and where did you go wrong. Was there one incident that just pushed you over the top, or was it a cumulation of years of little things that finally overflowed your cup? Or maybe a little of both? I've been relatively silent on my divorce on the blog, because, well... it's NUNYA, and I highly doubt you all want the gory details anyway. But I will say this: it was a combination of many things over several years, plus a few more recent events that finally pushed me over the top. I will also say this: divorces are not the result of affairs; affairs are the result of a bad marriage gone on too long.

Anyway... it's bittersweet. I'm glad we're no longer married, but damn... I'm still sad about the failure of our marriage. Now we just have to go ahead with the "business of raising children", as the mediator put it.

Oh yeah- one final thought: I hope I *never* have to go through a divorce again.


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