Resolute about Resolutions

I am determined.
I *will* keep my resolutions this year. They are: Reduce Debt and Get In Shape.

The first evidence of which is joining a gym- the YMCA. I had my first of three equipment orientations tonight. I was *not* looking forward to it. I haven't worked out in a VERY long time. I hate to sweat. And even more than that, I hate to be embarrassed. I was afraid of being embarrassed about my jiggles and how quickly I get short of breath these days, surrounded by hard bodies who secretly (or not so secretly) laughed at my feeble attempts at exercise. But I also know that I have to start somewhere, and rock bottom seems to be a good place to start.

But, I sucked it up and went.

I was greeted by a young, blonde hard body I quickly nicknamed Bam-Bam the Man-Child. I asked Bam-Bam what we were going to do tonight, and he said "Whatever you want". I swear, it was like being 16 and on a first date.
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"Oh, I don't care- whatever YOU want to do."
"I don't care what we do- what do YOU want to do"
"Whatever YOU want to do is what I want do"... and on, and on, and on.
So I finally told Bam-Bam I wanted to lose weight, tone my arms, legs, and abs, and didn't want bulk. He asked me if I wanted to start with the cardio machines. I said yes, so he set me up on an elliptical machine. He said "Just hit quick start"...so I did. And when I asked him how to use the programs, like "aerobic 1", he chuckled and said "um.... I don't, uh, ha ha... um. I don't remember. huh huh".
Thanks, Bam-Bam.

"How about showing me how to use the treadmill?"
"oh. Yeah. It, um. It works like the elliptical, only it's different. huh huh"
*sigh*

Then we walked around the corner to the weight-lifting machines.
Bam-Bam then asked me "So... which machines do you want me to show you?" To which I replied "Well, since I don't know what any of the machines do... that's a REALLY hard question to answer." He laughed, and agreed. Eventually he showed me a couple of arm and leg machines and one back machine.

COME ON!
I told Bam-Bam the Man-Child what I wanted to do: lose weight, work on toning abs, arms, legs and back. He should have been able to figure out which machines I'd be interested in from that description, right?
*groan*

This is not working out like I planned. At all. But I'm still determined to do this, so the next time I go, I am *not* taking my next lesson with Bam-Bam the Man-Child. I need an actual GROWN UP to show me what do do, how many to do, and how often to do it.