Friday, January 04, 2008

Resolute about Resolutions

I am determined.
I *will* keep my resolutions this year. They are: Reduce Debt and Get In Shape.

The first evidence of which is joining a gym- the YMCA. I had my first of three equipment orientations tonight. I was *not* looking forward to it. I haven't worked out in a VERY long time. I hate to sweat. And even more than that, I hate to be embarrassed. I was afraid of being embarrassed about my jiggles and how quickly I get short of breath these days, surrounded by hard bodies who secretly (or not so secretly) laughed at my feeble attempts at exercise. But I also know that I have to start somewhere, and rock bottom seems to be a good place to start.

But, I sucked it up and went.

I was greeted by a young, blonde hard body I quickly nicknamed Bam-Bam the Man-Child. I asked Bam-Bam what we were going to do tonight, and he said "Whatever you want". I swear, it was like being 16 and on a first date.
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"Oh, I don't care- whatever YOU want to do."
"I don't care what we do- what do YOU want to do"
"Whatever YOU want to do is what I want do"... and on, and on, and on.
So I finally told Bam-Bam I wanted to lose weight, tone my arms, legs, and abs, and didn't want bulk. He asked me if I wanted to start with the cardio machines. I said yes, so he set me up on an elliptical machine. He said "Just hit quick start" I did. And when I asked him how to use the programs, like "aerobic 1", he chuckled and said "um.... I don't, uh, ha ha... um. I don't remember. huh huh".
Thanks, Bam-Bam.

"How about showing me how to use the treadmill?"
"oh. Yeah. It, um. It works like the elliptical, only it's different. huh huh"

Then we walked around the corner to the weight-lifting machines.
Bam-Bam then asked me "So... which machines do you want me to show you?" To which I replied "Well, since I don't know what any of the machines do... that's a REALLY hard question to answer." He laughed, and agreed. Eventually he showed me a couple of arm and leg machines and one back machine.

I told Bam-Bam the Man-Child what I wanted to do: lose weight, work on toning abs, arms, legs and back. He should have been able to figure out which machines I'd be interested in from that description, right?

This is not working out like I planned. At all. But I'm still determined to do this, so the next time I go, I am *not* taking my next lesson with Bam-Bam the Man-Child. I need an actual GROWN UP to show me what do do, how many to do, and how often to do it.


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