Friday, October 24, 2008

Morgan, not Stanley

I arrived at the Montgomery, AL airport about an hour before Keith could get here, so I settled in at Subway with a drink and prepared to browse the 'net when a little girl sat down at the table next to me.

The tv was on FoxNews. A commercial was on; I paid no attention.
Until she giggled.

I looked over and she giggled again.
"hehe... I'm on tv. My name is MORGAN. Not Morgan STANLEY.. Morgan Charles."
I said, "Hi, Morgan"... and that's all the invitation she needed to break into a conversation.

My hair used be longer- down to *here* (points to shoulders)
I'm still getting used to it being short (it's chin-level)
My mom's a flight attendant.
I'm 9, almost 10. My sister, Victoria, is 14.
I'm flying with my sister to go see my Aunt in Texas.
She's takes care of my rabbit.
But, she's a doctor, so she doesn't have much time to take care of it, so I have to clean out the cage first thing.

*pause*

Hey- do you know where silk comes from?

I said, "YES... WORMS!!!!"

She said, "I KNOW! Can you believe it? Most people don't believe me when I say that."

I said, "Well, it's weird to think about all those brides wearing something made by a WORM."

Her reply? "Yes, but it's better than dog poop."

LMFAO
Better than dog poop.
Oh My GOD. Considering the Kevinisms I've posted about, I'm thinking that Kevin and Morgan together would be an absolute RIOT. By now Victoria has finished her sandwich and stands up to leave for their gate, but not before looking at the tv and saying "Gosh, he's so OLD."

I look up- it's McCain, at the rally in Denver.

I said "Yeah! He could be like the grandpa to the whole country if he gets elected!" And then asked them who they would vote for.

MCCAIN.
MCCAIN.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... *high fives all around*

Then Morgan explains, "I could NEVER vote for OBAMA. He has NO respect for our flag- he won't even salute it or cross his heart!"
Followed by Victoria's "He says he's a christian, but we all know he wasn't ALWAYS a christian, and if he WAS a christian, why won't he honor our flag? Christians honor the flag. He is NOT a christian."

HOOAH.
There's hope for us yet, folks.

Farting squirrels, "better than dog poop" wedding dresses, and a new generation who is being taught what it means to be an American, a christian, and how to honor our flag. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!


Thursday, October 16, 2008

PFFFFFT

Tonight, as I was putting Kevin in bed, we started talking about forest fires. He was appalled that our local fire department doesn't have fire jumpers, nor do they fight forest fires on a regular basis. What a bunch of slackers, eh?

So while we were on the subject of forest fires, I asked him if he had heard about the fires currently burning in California. He said that he had.

I told him that I knew how one of the fires started. He said, "You do? How?"

I said "A squirrel started it."

He said "What? Did he fart or something??"

Oh.
My.
GOD......

(A squirrel really did start one of the fires- he fried himself on electrical wires and then fell onto the ground, lighting the dry grass on fire around his charred little body.)


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Fiddly Bits

Busy busy busy...
When I get online these days, it's to check email, read The Castle and Blonde Sagacity (who is in LABOR right now, about to give birth to her 3rd child!!!!), and check FoxNews and CNN. There were a few stories that caught my eye today that I just cannot ignore.

1. Ayers and Obama crossed paths more than just casually, contrary to Obama's claims. I about fainted when I came across this article on CNN of all places. SERIOUSLY. CNN is reporting that their relationship is much deeper than previously, and recently, reported. Way to go authors Drew Griffin and Kathleen Johnston!!

2. FoxNews reporter John R. Lott Jr. points out what every good Republican Conservative should already know: BIDEN LIED!!! And the media has reported lies by Palin that AREN'T LIES!!! I'd faint, but this is a FOX story, not a CNN story. It's about damn time someone points out how little Biden knows, and how badly he lied during the debate last week. How much you want to bet his excuse is "Well, you can't remember EVERYTHING correctly during off-the-cuff remarks". *groan*

3. I leave you with two stories from Mother Nature. One FREAKY and one FUNNY. The other night I had a dream about finding and cuddling with a big bear out in the woods (I am now convinced it was brought on by my cat, Claire, climbing on my chest during the night, and I must have starting petting her in my sleep, prompting the dream). After reading the "freaky" story, I shudder to think what I'll dream about tonight. Maybe I'll get lucky, and I'll have a "funny" dream instead, complete with flashbacks of the first time I heard the infamous 911 call by the guy who "needs a bambulance, cuz I gots a deeah in my car!'. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA... oh... that's funny