Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Our Comic Book Geek President

Thanks to Valerie, commenter at Blackfive for leading me to this Onion story:
Obama Disappointed Cabinet Failed To Understand His Reference To 'Savage Sword Of Conan' #24

"If my inner circle of advisers can't even communicate about the most basic issues, how are we going to tackle the massive problems our nation faces?" Obama said during a press conference. "When I tell my cabinet that getting bipartisan support is exactly like the time Conan got Taurus to help him steal Yara's jewel, they need to understand what I mean."

After receiving no reaction from the assembled reporters, Obama added, "Because a giant spider is protecting this chamber full of precious jewels, just like Congress is protecting its…. God, how are you people not seeing this?"


Maybe he'll call in Superman and Wonder Woman to defend the country when he disbands the military....

My eyes are tearing up I am laughing so hard.


Today is a SNOW DAY.
It's illegal to drive in Hamilton County, which houses Cincinnati and most of the metro area. I live in Clermont County, but it's not much better here, so I am stayin in for the most part.

Luckily for me, I can remote in to work, and still have power!!

So, while trolling the internet, I came across this headline:
Poisonous Fish Testicles Send 7 Japanese Diners to Hospital





Bad, illegal, and stupid... but HILARIOUS!!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I can't believe it's been a year....

....and we still miss him. We always will.

Rest in peace, SSG Barker.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Oh Pu-LEASE.... We are NOT that STUPID

Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia African-American baby dolls, that AREN'T modeled after the Obama girls!????

The company that brought the world Beanie Babies is now selling dolls named Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia, but a spokeswoman insists that the dolls have nothing to do with President Obama's young daughters.

Come ON.
We are NOT that STUPID...

A sign of the times

As the song goes, this is a new day. We have a new administration at the helm.
Some people see it as bright and sunny... I do not. I am less than happy about our new president or the things he wants to do.

Considering Obama's track record of saying a lot but doing nothing, I was really hoping his presidency would be that way. There's very little on his agenda that matches anything I want to see happen.

That's not happening.
I suppose that could be seen as a good thing, because now I have something real and tangible to bitch about instead of just waiting around to see what he *might* do.

He's closing Gitmo. He's stopped the trials. And he has absolutely no idea what to do with the 250 inmates. Let me be clear: If you are still in Gitmo 7 years after the towers fell, you are there for a VERY good reason. Period. You should be there, or worse.

However... due to the failure of the Bush administration to actually charge, try, convict and sentence these men, Obama is going to let them go. Gitmo is the biggest failure of the Bush administration, and unfortunately, it's one of the most important things he should have accomplished.

I read recently that of the Gitmo detainees who have been released and followed, most have returned to a life of terrorism and crimes against America and our allies. And those were the ones we didn't have enough proof to hold! Beauty.

But it's ok!
Ex-Marine John Murtha has a solution!
Send 'em all to me in Pennsylvania- we'll take care of them! I have no problem harboring terrorists! They're no more dangerous than anyone else in my district!

What a dick. I have a feeling the people in his district have a HUGE case of voter's remorse right now... the first of many, I'm afraid.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Calling in COLD today

Wouldn't that be nice? It's a wee bit nipply out there. Staying in bed all day sounds sooooo goooooood. But, I got up. And on my way to work, my Mom (who works for a local school district) was off today due to the cold. I can't believe it... they got a COLD DAY. beyotch.


Everyone who isn't under a rock probably knows about the incredible Hudson River landing that Capt. Sully pulled off yesterday. The worst injury was a lady with two broken legs. Everyone has been absolutely amazed by the pilot's skill and dedication to the safety of his crew and passengers. Once you read this article though, it all makes perfect sense: Capt. Sully was an Air Force F4 pilot, served on crash investigation teams, has been flying for US Airways for 29 years, and owns his own safety consulting business. He's made a career out of flying and surviving disasters, and it paid off for 155 very grateful people and their families. I love that.

If ever there was a man to be at the helm during a crisis... it was meant to be this man.

HOT DAMN! God was certainly on their side yesterday.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

A Special Place in Hell

A special place in hell is reserved for those who abuse and/or kill children- especially children they know.

For instance this piece of shit: Stanley Hall Jr.
He brutally beat his girlfriend's 2 year old daughter last summer, leaving her brain damaged. He got 7 years for child endangerment. Not enough, in my opinion. Although I have heard the prisoners have special treatment reserved for those who commit crimes against children, so that eases my mind.

I will never be able to ease my mind over this story though:

On Christmas Eve, 11 year old Heather Wessel was dancing around the house, excited about what surprises lay in store the next morning. Her family didn't have much money- the heat had been turned off, so they were relying upon propane heater to warm their house. She got too close to the heater, lighting her silken pajamas on fire. She suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns on her legs, back, and buttocks. Afraid that the police would arrest them over her injuries, the parents DENIED HER MEDICAL CARE. Instead, they laid her on her stomach and treated her burns with a dirty, wet t-shirt and lotion. Fredrick and Sharon Wessel... I hope you burn on this earth before you burn in hell for the torture you inflicted on your child for your own stupid self-preservation.

FOR TWO WEEKS she suffered. Over that two week period, her piece of shit child molesting father called paramedics twice FOR HIMSELF, due to care needed for his recent tracheotomy. Not once did they ask them to look at the girl. Six other adult friends and family members came to visit, saw the girl's injuries, AND DID NOTHING. This past week, a neighbor heard the girl's screams of pain and called 911.

Her burns are so bad she may lose her legs due to the infections and length of time it took for her to get even basic medical care.

I have tried for three days to come up with the right words to describe these parents, and I just can't. There just isn't a string of words long enough, harsh enough, or emotional enough to describe these people, or the six other adults who knew about her injuries yet did nothing. NOTHING..... Even her 14 year old brother did nothing, but he gets a break since he's still a kid, and was probably afraid of what would happen if he told. To give him credit though, he's told everything he knows to the police.

It makes me sick to think about how much pain she was in for two weeks- especially as her mother tried to slather her with lotion, touching and rubbing those burns with nothing more potent than Tylenol in her system. It just turns my stomach.

I don't have the words, but I do have a solution: DIE MOTHERFUCKERS DIE

(yeah, I know... it's a military video, but I can't help but to think about this song when I think about this egg and sperm donors)

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The Babe tagged me!

Not that girly-man Baby Ruth, or whatever his name was... but The One And Only Tanker Babe!

(who got tagged by that gorgeous red-headed USO Girl, Caroline)

Da Rulz:
1. Link to the person that tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

And now for the non-important wacko tidbits about me:

1) I HATE NOISY EATERS. OMG... this is one of my biggest pet peeves EVER.

2) I am allergic to cats, yet I have 3- the youngest of which is only 3 months old.

3) I share the same birthmark as my brother and my youngest son. It's an odd birthmark. It looks like a white scab of sorts. We all have them in different places, and actually, mine is gone. It used to be behind my knee. Bill's was on his shoulder blade, and Kevin has 3 little ones, on different places on his chest and back.

4) My favorite zoo animal is, shockingly, not one of the big cats: it's the Red Panda. The big cats and gorillas are way at the top of my must-see list though- I always go to see them, at every zoo I've been to.

5) I hate drinking Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi. Hate Hate Hate. Instead I drink non-cola diet drinks like Mt. Dew, Fuze, A&W Rootbeer, Fresca (especially the hard-to-find Peach Fresca) and Diet Rite Raspberry.

6) When I was a youngster, I had a white bikini bathing suit with cherries on it. I LOVED that bathing suit- wore it all day, as often as possible, that summer. So much so that my walkie talkie callsign was Wild Cherry. HAHA... Wild Cherry. I crack myself up.

OK. So who am I tagging?

Why, BillT of course! (slacker Iraq blogger that he is... )

MSG Keith (cuz I'm gonna marry the man this summer and he's the worst blog-slacker I know)

ALa (hey- you said you wanted to spend more attention to your blog, right? EASY POST!)

The incredibly sexy and recently pregnant friend, Perverted Republican

Loopy Lib (omg... you've got to search her site for Little Monkey stories- they rival my Kevinism posts)

Doc, just 'cuz

Thursday, January 01, 2009

A New Day

The hamster has been buried, but not forgotten.
The gerbil has been introduced to his new home.
The boys have torn through their Christmas presents, and declared this "The Best Christmas EVER".
The leftover Christmas ham has been incorporated into a ginormous pot of bean soup.
The ball has dropped.
It's a new year, and a new day.

This year I pledge to:
1. Lose weight
2. Get more organized
3. Yell less
4. Play more with my kids
5. Marry my Sweetpea
6. Complete half of my QPFC
7. Make my craft room usable
8. Manage my budget better
9. Take more pictures
10. Dance

What will you do with your New Year?