Going batsh!t CRAZY

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young
Men in their clean white coats and
They're coming to take me away!


yeah. audits tend to do that to me.
*runs out of blog, pulling hair, screaming, and sucking thumb*

stuff to say, no time to write it up

damn.
Many of you know I'm in Finance- specifically, investments. Our industry is regulated by the NASD and the SEC... and BOTH are auditing us. These are normal check-up audits, not complaint triggered audits, but still, they are nerve-wracking and take a LONG time to prepare for (even though they only give you 10 days notice). ARGGHHH!

The SEC was in last week, and the NASD is due next week. *happy happy joy joy*

I *SO* want to write about things that are going on- like that first-class idiot Michael Ware and his drunken interview with Bill Maher, and the newest allegations of civilian murders by our troops in Iraq, and some songs that have been speaking to me lately.
So many things in my head.. and by the time I get to write about them at night, I'm too pooped to think clearly enough to get it out on paper.

I'm NOT a snitcher!

You Are Cindy Brady

Warm hearted and sweet, you have a childlike innocence that lets you see the good in everyone. But you're also a bit of a baby. You stick your nose where it doesn't belong... and cry when you get caught!

What Brady Are You?

When Eagles Soar Together

Just go read it, OK?
Bring your tissues, and go read what Bald Eagle has to say about his deployed wife, Grey Eagle.
Oh man.

Weekend in Review

Well... let's see here....
For the past month or more I have spent at least one night a week working on cataloging items for the school auction. It's a HUGE fundraiser for Kevin's school (which, for the past three years, was Thomas's school). I've helped out in various functions, and decided to try something new this year: cataloging. In other words, I was in charge of keeping track of every donor, every solicitor, every donation, and every auction (because some donations were combined into single auction items).
LORDY.... what a job.
The auction FINALLY took place Saturday night. WOOT!
I let the boys pick out a few things they wanted me to bid on for them. Thomas picked out a beach basket and a cookie bouquet. The cookie bouquet was really cute... but not $40 cute, IMHO. I did get the beach basket, so he's all set for summer fun at the pool. Kevin wanted his class basket, which was filled with Easter decorations, and Mr. Bear, the Kindergarten class's mascot. Each child gets to take Mr. Bear home for a week or so, and they keep a journal of all the things Mr. Bear got to do with their family. Kevin is in pre-school, so when the bidding on Mr. Bear got up over $50... I bowed out. It was REALLY cute, but it wasn't *his* class bear. The final price? I think it was $90.00. YIKES! I wasn't able to win either of the things Kevin wanted, so... as a consolation prize... I took him to Build-A-Bear to make his own Mr. Bear. I think he's happy with his consolation prize, what do you think?


Saturday morning also meant Thomas's first baseball practice of the year. He's a Bomber this year- his first year on a kid-pitch team. Last year he was a little superstar on the t-ball field. We expected him to be on a coach-pitch team this year, but they moved him right into kid-pitch. *lordy* I was nervous- he gets freaked about sports when he doesn't perform well, so I was afraid he'd have a bad practice and be done with the year. Not so. He frikkin' WINGED that ball at the coach. He told me a couple days ago he wanted to be the pitcher. I told him that I wasn't sure if he'd be able to, since the team has been in existence for a few years already- they may already have pitchers. Uh-uh. The coach took a few tosses from Thomas and realized he has quite an arm, so he pegged him as a potential pitcher. WOOT! Then, during batting practice, Thomas nailed the ball twice. One high lob between 1st and 2nd... and one line drive that nearly nailed the coach's right hip! DOH! um... sorry Coach. Shoulda warned you about Thomas's line drive hits... hehe! I wish I had pictures, but we didn't take any.
Needless to say, there will be LOTS of posts and pictures of my little baseball star throughout the spring!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

heh. Even my feet are in the spirit today.
So... I figgered I'd ask ya'll what kind of beer you are.


Link: The If You Were A Beer Test written by gwendolynbooks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Microbrew (66% dark & bitter, 33% working class, 33% genuine) Microbrews, though obscure, are pretty tasty things, and they continually win beer contests. I, personally, have a hard time getting past the hype and the slight air of pretention that surrounds any discussion of "hoppiness," "5-star scales," and the like. But their non-working-classness notwithstanding, Microbrew is one of the best categories on this test: dignified, intelligent, rare. Personality-wise, you have refined tastes (after all, mircobrews are usually kind of expensive), but you know how to savor what you get. Your personality isn't exactly light and bubbly, but very you're well-liked by your close circle of friends. Your sense of humor is most likely on the dark side, but that's just another way to say sophisticated, right? Just remember to act like a Pabst every once in a while, and you'll be perfect. Cheers!!!

I may be a Kitten, but......

....apparently, I'm more Calvin than Hobbes:

Mostly Calvin You are 70% Calvin and 30% Hobbes

Your inner Calvin often prevails, but, as in the image below, you have a significant Hobbesian component. I'm going to try to stretch the visual metaphor here: you have a good head on your shoulders, but when you don't use it, your crazy body gets you in trouble? Does that work? Odds are you're impulsive and imaginative, but it's possible you've collected just enough wisdom to hold your most anti-social urges in check. Most of the time. It's a precarious balance, like a boy on one foot with a tiger head.

Link: The Calvin Or Hobbes Test written by gwendolynbooks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

More Fun With SItemeter

I reached 18,000 visitors today! Lucky Mr. 18,000 was from the Hudson Valley Community College in New York, doing a Google search for pictures of the White Power Ranger. *waves to New York*

I'm currently #1 on Google for stories related to Kathryn Haumesser, the teacher at Thomas's school who was killed in a car accident last weekend. ("Kathryn Haumesser" is also my second-highest ranked word search, outranked only by "look it up ourselves, in the card catalog".) I should note that her funeral was Friday morning. The driver, 19 year old Jacob Wolford, is now facing charges of DUI, aggrevated vehicular homicide and aggrevated vehicular assault. I'm not sure what the sentencing could involve, but damn... I sure hope they go after this kid.

I'm #11 for the story about the mentally retarded man, Teddy Shuman, who killed his roommate last weekend. Teddy is still in state custody undergoing evaluations. The facility where the murder occurred is under investigation as well. Several citations regarding patient care and safety have come to light recently, including a violent attack by a patient that was never reported to the State.

I'm #13 on Yahoo for my "Who's to blame?" article about parental responsibility when your child commits a crime. The official search is under "parents sued for childs actions". Not one of my favorite topics, but an important one.

This one suprised me. I'm #17 on Yahoo for "newborn herniated belly button". You may remember that Kevin had his fixed last summer.

Other weird word searches that landed people in My Puddle recently include:
"death triangle popping pimples" (from my "why do men have nipples" post)
"mommy boobs" (thank you, Thomas and Kevin)
"i like big butts" (thank you, Kevin)
"Waghdan al-Jayashy" (That's the Iraqi girl who was flown to Cincinnati Shriner's for burn care following injuries sustained during the war two years ago. She's undergone 2 surgeries so far, I believe, and is doing quite well.)
"puking dogs" (thank you, Elvis)
"fermented fertilized egg Vietnam" (um. ok.)

And on a completely unrelated note.....
Could Charlize Theron have possibly picked a worse dress and hairdo for the Oscars last night? (click on the link above and page to picture 16) Oi. For such a drop-dead gorgeous woman, she looked terrible! At least she wasn't wearing a swan.

OooooRaaaaaah!

A Marine was attending a college course between missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The professor, an avowed atheist, shocked the class one day when he walked in, looked toward the ceiling, and said loudly, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent and the professor began his lecture. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God - still waiting."

It got down to the last minute when the Marine stood up, walked toward the professor and threw his best punch, knocking him off the platform and out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat down. The other students were shocked and sat there looking on in stunned silence. The professor came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God is busy today protecting America's soldiers who are
protecting your right to behave like an idiot and say stupid stuff. So He sent me."


Once again I say to you, thank GOD for the USMC.... and for military Moms like Karen, whose only son is in Basic Training right now. She's also the one responsible for sending me this little story via email. I know Ryan will never see this, but Karen will. You have a lot to be proud of, hon. He's going to make one helluva Soldier, and a great MP. Luv ya.

Creative Editing

You gotta love it.... NOT.

Remember when the MSM was reporting that Bush lied about the possibility of the levees failing in New Orleans? How about when the AP reported National Hurricane Center Director Max Mayfield told the president that the integrity of the levees was ‘a very, very grave concern’?

Here's what Mayfield REALLY said:
"I don’t think any model can tell you with any confidence right now whether the levees will be topped or not, but that’s obviously a very, very grave concern.”

He continued on to say that "Nobody talked about the possibility of a levee breach or failure until after it happened.”

I swear. The more I learn about stupid shit the press pulls, the less I trust them. On this issue, I *never* trusted them- I knew Bush wouldn't have lied about such a thing. Gov. Blanco gave Bush inaccurate information about the levees, a fact that has now been proven through the release of video taped meetings earlier this week. Blanco is shown saying "I think we have not breached the levee at this time" in a noon meeting, when in fact, the NWS issued a flood warning at 9:12am after receiving reports that the levees had, in fact, been breached. Blanco's statement came nearly four hours AFTER the NWS warning was issued.

By the time any action was taken, it had been over 12 hours, and the 15,000 people who evacuated to the Superdome were stuck. I stand by my original assessment: Nagin and Blanco misrepresented the situation in New Orleans, causing a delayed reaction by the Federal government.

Responsibility

Last weekend there was a murder at a local group home. The victim was 50-year-old Joseph Beaudoin, the roommate of 20-year-old Edward "Teddy" Shuman, who is charged with the crime. Teddy has a history of violent outbursts which have resulted in injury to others in the past, but nothing close to what happened to Mr. Beaudoin. Teddy told the police that he tightened a belt around Beaudoin's neck until he stopped breathing and turned blue, yet he insists that he did nothing wrong. He's been in and out of institutionalized care since age 7 when he started displaying uncontrollable violent outbursts.

Who is responsible here?
We have a dead man, and the murderer has an IQ of about 42 who knows what he did, but doesn't believe he did anything wrong.
We have parents who have tried everything to get proper care for their son since they adopted him at 18 months.
We have a state mental health system which had no reason to believe that Teddy was capable of this level of violence and believed that putting him in a residential setting was acceptable.
We have a residential facility which, under state guidelines, matched Teddy with a roommate he killed less than a week after being transferred there from a state hospital.

Who is responsible? I have no idea. But one thing's for sure. We have failed BOTH Teddy Shuman AND Joseph Beaudoin. I know Teddy needed more care than he was afforded, but now he's in the criminal justice system- a place I'm afraid he will get lost in and not get the care he truly needs.

(story linked to H&I Fires post at The Castle Argghhh!, home of Jonah's Military Guy, LuvMuffin and SugarButtons)

Prick

Look it up in Websters, and you'll find that picture. Nagin. Dressed as a 4-Star. On a horse. In a Mardi Gras parade. Attempting to snark Genl. Honore, no doubt.

Yeah. I got your "cavalry" dickweed.