The Year In Review

wow.
Did you ever look back at a year and just say "wow"???

Well, that's what I'm saying today. Those who know... know. (Yeah. I know. You *all* know. hehe) I'm hoping that this year goes more smoothly than I expect it to, but... well, you know. Many, many thanks to those of you who have been there when I needed a laugh, and also when I needed to cry.

I was looking back at my archives to see what went on last year in my Kitty-brain, so I thought I'd share my findings with you.

January-February, 2005
Who knows? I had a blog, but didn't start leaving my posts up for public viewing until March. I was writing things regularly, and then, when I was done, I deleted them. They were all personal, and not meant for public consumption.

March, 2005
Sgt. B put up a meme...I replied... and the jig was up. DOH! John found out I had a blog (he was NOT pleased that he had to find out about it second-hand), and started linking me. DOH!

April, 2005
I wrote one of my favorite posts in April. I just stopped in for a Coke. I also wrote one of my most viewed posts- I still get Google hits on my BLT Recipe. I guess it's safe to say that April was a food month, lol!

May, 2005
Disney, 2005! Bryan's parents sent us to Disney for Bryan's 40th birthday. It was a great time. I also wrote some posts on the military- CBTFW's book went on pre-sale, Pantano was cleared of all charges, the hilarious Kosovo video, and for Memorial Day. I also wrote another one of my most-viewed posts, based upon the song "Live like you were dyin'".

June, 2005
CDB came to Cinci... and it was awesome! The New York 9/11 memorial was being hijacked, and a whole bunch of people got involved- and eventually won out. The 9/11 memorial will be just about 9/11, and the USA! I also posted some of my favorite Sniglets. And... Capt. Z was injured, starting a long recovery period.

July, 2005
Kevin turned 5, and I went to my 20th high school reunion. My goodness, how the time flies! London got hit by terrorism. I also explained a bit about blogging.

August, 2005
I sounded off on parental vs. personal responsibility. Valour-IT got up and running in August as well. What a great program! I also had some fun with license plates, and wished Thomas a happy 8th birthday. My website got an extreme make-over in August also. And... Bryan and I went to NYC. August was a busy month!

September, 2005
I hit 5,000 visitors, and BOQ was the lucky number 5,000! Hurricane Katrina hit, and boy.. did it. Disaster Kitty was on the job for a couple of weeks, and in disaster-recovery heaven. We survived yet another anniversary of 9/11. My birthday was memorable for a different reason this year- a Congressional Medal of Honor winner was announced.

October, 2005
Kevin taught me what a "pacifier weiner" is. Oi. I *still* laugh about that one! I got caught in traffic one day this month, too- and learned a lesson I'll never forget. Some of the milblog guys had me laughing so hard my sides hurt, my eyes were watering, and my co-workers were wondering what was so darn funny. Rosa Parks died. October was full of mixed emotions.

November, 2005
New schools this year had me thinking about how much homework is too much. I found out what a "cushie" is, and I passed along some Cincy facts. I discovered I had a Phoenix living in my soul. Heh.

December, 2005
Jesus came visit. Thomas got a bath. And you all learned a few things about me that you probably didn't know.
Merry Christmas, ya'll! Would you like an apple pie with that??

2006 starts in about 2 1/2 hours. It'll be a an interesting year, for sure. Thanks to all of you for being there, and for continuing to be there for me. Words cannot express my gratitude for your friendship. Thanks. Just.... thanks.

It's just not the same....

Having your feet licked by your dog is *not* the same as having your toes sucked.

just an observation.....

Hi John!

Hey John-
I'm #1 on Google for '"John Donovan" watercraft'!
"I'm #1! I'm #1! I'm #1!"

I'm #3 on Google for "Why does the room spin". Who'da thunk it? LOL....

On Yahoo, I'm #9 for "WWII Porn" (WEIRD), and #6 for "all synonyms etymology" (Even Weirder).

I'd also like to point out that of the past 200 visits, 138 hits got here from The Castle. Yep. John and Bill are responsible for about 70% of ALL of my traffic.

*waves to Castle friends* HI!!!!!

Lyric Spot

LEAN ON ME (Bill Withers)

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you't not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me ( if you need a friend)
Call me

Of all the songs in the world, this is my all-time favorite. But if I ever meet you guys in person, I promise not to sing it because I CANNOT sing. My Mom used to ask me to sing solo. So low no one could hear me..... *sniff* The truth hurts, don't it?

You Go, Boys!

ALa posted about this story today, and I just loved it.
Morgan Freeman is calling for an end to "Black History Month", because Black History is AMERICAN History. Their history is no less important- or no MORE important, than the history of Anglo's in the New World, or the American Indians, or the Spanish-Americans. We are ALL Americans. They don't call America the Great Melting Pot for nuthin!

Morgan went on to say "I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man" during his interview "60 Minutes" which is scheduled to air this Sunday. He points out that the best way to get rid of racism is to stop talking about it, and start treating each other simply as people. Period.

The African-American community is not pleased with Morgan's remarks.

They had a similar reaction in 2004 when Bill Cosby spoke out how the African-American community isn't doing themselves any favors when it comes to getting rid of racism in America. During a speech commemorating the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education decision, Cosby was heard to say "They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' . . . And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk." On the subject of the African-American crime rate, he had this to say: "These are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake, and then we run out and we are outraged, saying, 'The cops shouldn't have shot him.' What in the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand?"

One of the things that stands out the most to me is that if these comments had been said by a white person, they would have been declared a raging racist. Since these comments were said by black people, the black community is "outraged"; the white community is "supportive"- but no one is calling them a racist.

I *hate* double standards.

OK. This Mommy story has me beat.

OMG....
Bou found this, and I cannot stop laughing...
Sounds like something my boys would do!

However, last night Kevin did provide me with this little compliment:
"Mommy, I love you more than... more than... MORE THAN MY *OLD* TOYS!"

*joy* *happy* *excitement*

Heh. Looks like I have some work to do before I'm loved more than the NEW toys.

Things I learned today

1. Saying things like "That's one more thing we have in common" while sleeping in the same bed with the man you are divorcing is *not* a good thing.

2. Apologizing for #1 doesn't work- even though I don't remember any dreams I had last night.

3. Going to Kenwood Mall at 1:30 today was *not* a good idea.

4. Interfering with my choice of a parking space after driving around Kenwood Mall for an HOUR is also *not* a good idea...for YOU. (GROWL-HISS)

5. When digging for lost shoes under the sofa, make sure the one you find actually matches the one you're already wearing or else you could find yourself wearing two different shoes.

6. When standing near a woman who has just discovered she is wearing two different shoes, "OH, FUCK ME" and laughter may be heard. "Please ignore the red-faced woman at pump #3- she's wearing two different shoes and wondering how many people she's seen over the past several hours actually noticed this fact."

7. Should you find yourself out shopping the day after Christmas, after spending an hour driving around the parking lot, only to find yourself wearing two different shoes, buying a new pair of shoes is a perfectly acceptable solution.

8. According to Danyelle, the 4-year-old across the street, Kevin is a "hottie", and she's "all done dumping him- he's my boyfriend again." (said with a certain finger-snap-and-a-swirl-shoulder-shake attitude that she must have learned from her teenaged sister)

9. My favorite holidays are the ones I get to spend with my loved ones.

10. Elvis's feet smell like an empty old microwave popcorn bag. ick.

Birth, Death, and Homecoming

REJOICE! For Jesus was born on this day, many years ago. His birth was announced by the heavens, and is still celebrated today. I hope you are all enjoying Jesus's birthday. (Yes, we'll be having "birthday cake" later) I'll post pictures of the craziness tomorrow or later tonight.


This day also brings about sorrow for those who are just a memory now.
Lex is feeling this more than usual today. His sister, Ann, died yesterday morning. Please stop by and offer words of comfort.

And now for the homecoming.
1LT Rusten Currie will be home soon, and has posted what he believes will be his final post on his blog. You may have noticed I called him 1LT, instead of just LT- he was promoted at the battalion's award ceremony prior to coming home. WOOT! WOOT! Way to go, Currie! Stop by and give him a high-five, a thank you, and an early "welcome home, Soldier".

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!

Since I don't have anyone's snail mail address, I thought I'd scan my Christmas card and post it here for you all.



Yeah...I actually sent those out to some people!

I've been making my own cards for the past few years, but decided on store bought cards this year. The sentiment is the same: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

In your DREAMS!

Kevin (my Little Man) and I have had some weird-ass dreams these past couple of days.

Somewhere in the middle of waking him up on "Squishy" day (see the post below, if you haven't already), he told me about a dream he had that night. Our family was flying in a big "hairplane", when the wings fell off, and we crashed. The "driver" went "UHHHHHHH.... SPLAT" and died, but, since the plane crashed at Disney World, our family survived and we had a great time at the park. *weird*

Then I told him about my dream. I had a dream that my childhood best friend's Mom called me, told me her mother had died, and would I be a pallbearer. The funeral is this Saturday, Christmas Eve, at 9:30am. (Keep in mind that my friend's grandmother died when we were in high school, and I never met her) *weirder*

Then last night, I had yet another odd dream.
I had a dream that I threw out my back, and went to my favorite spa for a massage. (Carol, I have no doubt this dream started with you and your aching back, btw) The massage room was kinda weird- there was a sink and a toilet at one end. She told me to remove my socks and shoes, top and bra, and wiggle my skirt down around my hips, and climb onto the table. (That's not the weird part- that's pretty normal) My back was so wrenched I had a hard time getting up onto the table. When I did, I was kinda curled up on my side a bit. She told me I needed to lay down flat on my belly, so I started to straighten out. The massage table was tilted to the right for some reason, and when I told her I felt like I was going to fall off the table, she just laughed, told me I was being silly, and to lay down flat. I tried to comply.... but when I did, the bed totally flipped over on me, and I found my aching self in a jumble, wedged between the flipped table and the sink against the wall. AIIIHHHHH!!! (that's a little scream)

When I looked up, the massage therapist was laughing her ass off at me, AND... AND... was totally naked. WTF!?!?!?! I crawled out from underneath the table, and went to grab my shirt to get the fark outta there. She beat me to it. She grabbed my shirt, bra, and socks and dropped them IN THE TOILET! (yeah- it was a VERY odd dream).

So I grabbed a towel, held it to my chest, and walked out into the lobby. Needless to say, I attracted a bit of attention. I demanded to talk to the owners, who apologized profusely while someone else retreived my toilet-water-soaked clothing and put them in a clothes dryer. As soon as they were ready, I bolted. *weirdest*

(the worst part of the dream: It woke me up at 5:00am, and I couldn't get back to sleep. The weirdest part of the dream: I actually have an appointment at my favorite spa for a whirlpool pedicure on Friday night. I may have to cancel it though, because I cut the bottom of my toe. Until this 5am this morning, I was considering changing it for a mini-massage! NO! NO! NO! RESIST... You MUST resist!!!)

My Little Man

Kevin is 5.
He's "all boy", as the saying goes. This morning I had a little conversation with him I thought you'd all find interesting. My account of it won't do it justice- I'm not as good as Bill or Lex at recalling funny incidents. Just imagine yourself having a purely innocent conversation with a 5 year old, which suddenly resembles a conversation with a 25 year old instead. oi......

This morning I opened his door and snuggled up next to him in his bed to wake him up. He rolled over, placing his left hand riiiiight on top of my right breast. OOPS. *oh crap! what should I do? move it? ignore it? say something?*

Before I could do anything, Kevin said "Mommy- are you pregnant?"

DOH!

"No.. Kevin, I am definitely NOT pregnant. Why?" (note to self: NEVER AGAIN ask Kevin "why")

"Well, because this thing is so squishy"... he says, while poking and squeezing my boob. *GAH!!!!!!! Squishy it is, but I can't say I ever thought my child would describe it that way. NOW WHAT!?!?!?!!*

"Um.. Kevin... it's my BOOB. It's supposed to be squishy. Now STOP PLAYING WITH IT. You're not supposed to touch your Mommy's boobs.", I said, face turning incredibly red, marveling at the absurdity of the words that just escaped my mouth. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have to say "You're not supposed to touch your Mommy's boobs". Then again, I also never thought I'd have to say "Stop wiping your boogers on the wall", or "Quit playing with your penis" either, but I have. Repeatedly.

"OK, I'll stop... but can I see them, then, Mommy? Your boobies?", he says, giggling.

DOUBLE DOH!!!!!!!!!!

"NO. NO. NO. NO! You cannot see my boobs, Kevin!", I answered, wondering who turned up the heat in the bedroom just then.

I jumped up, left his room, and retreated to my bathroom, horrified at the thought of my Little Man asking to see my breastessess (and laughing too, because it was so damn funny and innocent).

Suddenly, it hit me:

KEVIN IS A DIRTY OLD MAN TRAPPED IN A 5 YEAR OLD'S BODY.

To all the parents of the little girls Kevin will meet during his lifetime... let me just go ahead and apologize now.

Kevin is indeed my Little Man. LOL!!!

Hanoi Taxi over Dayton

These pictures were taken on Dec. 13, 2005, in preparation for the retirement of my brother's plane, a C-141 known as the Hanoi Taxi.
This is the *real* Hanoi Taxi- not just another C-141 in the fleet. He's so proud of his plane. He knows so much history about it. It's a shame to see it retired, but is is over 30 years old now. I got to take the boys on a tour of it at the Dayton Air Show earlier this year. I hope they still continue to show it off at air shows around the country.

...flying over the Air Force Museum at Wright Patt


...a different view of the Hanoi Taxi over the Air Force Museum


...after take-off

You are the World.... You are the People....

This is weird, but kinda cool too.

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

GADDAMMIT

Redleg has decided to shut down his site in order to avoid OPSEC issues.

GADDAMMIT

Mudville link

I've never linked anything posted by Mudville. I guess I just figured that everyone else reads Mudville, so why would they follow a link from HERE to THERE? But today there's a post I have to make sure you all read.

SGT Michael "Mike" James Stokely, KIA Operation Iraqi Freedom 16 Aug 05

I hope Mike's Dad, Robert, knows how much we appreciate his words and his son. I hope God brings you peace on Tuesdays soon, Robert.

Oh, and Cindy Sheehan- you should learn from this father how to HONOR and RESPECT your son.

Family

This may not flow, but I have a few things on my mind about family.

First....
My parents called me tonight to inform me of the death of a family member. I expected it to be my Dad's Uncle Gailon. His health has been failing over the past few years. I never dreamed the call would be about Uncle Gailon's grandson, my cousin, Troy, and his fiancee. Troy isn't a close cousin, but I do know him. He's a good bit younger than me, probably 10 or 12 years. He was a BIG kid. I mean HUGE. Pro-Football Linebacker huge. And hyper as hell. I haven't seen him in a very long time- probably 10 or 12 years. According to my aunt, Troy lost control of his car during a thunderstorm and hit another car head-on.

There was a wreck here this past week which nearly killed an entire family- three out of four family members died. The lone survivor is in critical condition, and may not know that her Mom, Dad and sister were killed. I'd hate to be the one to tell her. Then just yesterday, two brothers were driving, got in an accident, and the younger brother was killed.

Details regarding the causes of these accidents have not been released. But it doesn't really matter. The result is the same: families here and across the country will be dealing with the untimely deaths of family members over the Christmas season. You all probably know this already, but I was named after my Dad's sister who was killed in a car accident (drunk driver) on Christmas Eve, 1966. My Dad's family has again been struck by tragedy so close to Christmas. I wonder how they get through it. How they get past it.... I know they're not alone. It happens all the time.

It's been 5 years since I had a close relative die. It was my Mom's Mom; my Grandma. Christmas was her favorite time of year. The last Christmas at her house, she was on oxygen and had just been released from the hospital. We all looked at her and knew: this was going to be our last Christmas with her. Even so, that next Christmas was a real bitch. Lots of tears and memories. It's gotten easier, but I still miss her terribly. I won't be going to Troy's funeral- it's too far away, and like I said, I haven't seen him in many years. However, my thoughts and prayers will drift South on Tuesday as Troy and his fiancee are buried in Alabama. God bless your soul, Troy.

Second....
This will be my boy's last Christmas morning with both of their parents, and they don't even know it. I wonder what it will be like next year, when they will either wake up on Christmas morning at my house, or Bryan's. I wonder if they would remember it differently if they knew it would never be like this again. We're trying to make it invsible to them this year, but next year that won't be happening. I wonder how we'll split up holidays, and what that will be like. It scares me, and saddens me. Sometimes they get me so frustrated, and then other times, they are so sweet and fun and wonderful. I often wonder how this divorce will affect their personalities.

Bouncy-what-ee-who???

This is just wrong. WRONG, I TELL YOU!
(but funny as helk)

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

Or you can try this one: What's your Cyborg name?




Oh... boy.... I should probably stop laughing and start working now.

TIME

TIME Magazine is hosting it's annual "best photo" contest right now, and it's open to the public for voting. There are three categories: Viewer's Picks, Editor's Picks, and Best Photo Of The Year.

I voted already... and all three of my favorites are the overwhelming favorites in each category so far. Michael Yon has a picture up in the "Viewer's Picks" category. I know you'll all recognize it. I'm suprised it's not up for Best Photo Of The Year, instead of just Viewer's Pick.

A different kind of sitemeter hit

I love looking at my sitemeter history. Sometimes I can tell who has been here because I recognize your locations. It amuses me to no end to see what kind of word searches get people to my site. I've posted some of the funny ones before, like "painful butt zits" and "i'm my sister's wet nappy slave".

This time I'm posting a serious one. Someone got to my site using the following search:
"my dad died saving lives as a firefighter...i lost my father and i miss him...why am i angry about my loss?"

It was a Pac Bell user on Saturday night, Dec. 10, around 11:30pm. For some reason, my site came up as the #1 hit using Google for this search.

It made me wish I knew who that person was. I wish I could get them back, and offer my condolences. I wish I could offer some kind words and direct this person to some of the military sites ran by family members of fallen soldiers. I wish I could thank them for their father's service. I wish I could tell them that their anger is a normal part of the grieving process. I wish... I wish... I wish...

Whoever you are, I hope you find some comfort soon.

Kid... have you ever been arrested?

Doc's recent post reminded me so much of "Alice's Restaurant", I had to laugh!

I can just hear the conversation with the recruiter had things turned out differently: "Kid... we don't like your kind around here. The pool-hoppin', cow-tippin', spit-wad-shootin', food-fight kind. We're gonna have to send your fingerprints to Washington, Boy. Now go sit down on the group W bench, where we send the REAL troublemakers of the world"

It also reminded me of a story.
A story of a young waif of a girl, about 18, (we'll call her Were-Kitten) and her boyfriend. They had just moved into an apartment together (living in SIN), a floor below the boyfriend's best friend's apartment. One beautiful night, the three decided to climb up onto the roof of the apartment building to watch the stars and play guitar. Acoustic guitar- not electric.

So they hauled the guitars up onto the roof, and started enjoying the night air.

That's when it happened. Someone called the police.

Finding themselves surrounded by police with bullhorns "GET DOWN OFF OF THE ROOF NOW!", they decided to oblige the officer's request and climbed down. Once inside the apartment they proceeded to tell their story. The officers did not share their affection for playing guitar under the stars on the roof, and asked for social security numbers.

The young waif of a girl started crying. She couldn't remember her social security number. The police were again not amused. Once she got it out correctly, the officers left the building without arresting any of them- but they all got evicted by the apartment complex management.

And that, my friends... is the closest I've ever come to getting arrested.

Hung like a PUPPY!

This morning my son, Thomas, told Bryan that Elvis needed to go outside. Bryan asked him how he knew. So Thomas pointed to the dog, and said, "Well, look how big his pee-pee is, Daddy! It's sticking out THIS much!" (followed by a finger measurement of about 3 inches)

When I heard about the story a little bit later, Thomas added this little gem to the end "When I let him out, he didn't pee. I guess he was just really excited"

*walks away giggling and shaking head*

Oh... if he only knew how true that really was....

All I want for Christmas...

Well, it's not my two front teeth.
Trek wants to know what my 5 favorite Christmas songs are.
Here you go!

1. All I want for Christmas, is you.
2. Silent Night
3. Wizards in Winter
4. Sleigh Ride
5. Away in a Manger

There you have it. Some secular; some not. But I do love those songs. As a matter of fact, I sing "Silent Night" to my kids all year 'round as a bedtime song. I have a terrible singing voice, but they don't seem to mind. They ask to hear "Jesus loves me", "You are my sunshine", "Jesus loves the little children", "The itsy-bitsy spider", "Amazing Grace", "Take me out to the ballgame", "Twinkle, twinkle, little star", and "Mary had a little lamb".

For some reason the songs calm them, so I'm more than happy to fulfill those requests. When I was a child, my Grandma used to sing "You are my sunshine" to me. I can still hear her voice singing it. She didn't have a beautiful voice, actually, it was quite scratchy, but I loved it. As I've gotten older, the songs that calm me have changed, but "You are my sunshine" is still one of them.

I wonder if the songs I sing to my boys will have that affect on them as adults.

US Soldiers up to no good again, I see.....

Thunder6, at 365 and a Wakeup is one of my absolute favorite bloggers. His two most recent posts highlight some of the really bad stuff our Soldiers are doing in Iraq. I mean, come on... how could treating a badly burned boy, a foul infected wound, and providing a wheelchair to a handicapped child possibly be construed as anything but destructive?

Three more reasons I *hate* MSM coverage of the war. I'm sure I'll find more reasons as the day progresses- I just started out with T6.

Make sure you all stop by Marine Corps Mom's place and make a donation to their Christmas fund. They thought they were covered for the holidays, but a last-minute email has sent them scrambling. Come one... just do it! 5, 10, 20, 25, or 50.. it doesn't matter how much- it's all money, it all adds up, and it ALL helps.

UPDATE #1
I told you there would be updates today. This one isn't directed at the MSM though- Mustang09 has had a rough go of it lately. He's lost some "acquaintances" and is struggling a bit with that "phew.. it's not one of my GOOD friends" thought that immediately follows bad news. He's short too, making these losses just that much harder.

5 Habits of Moi

See what happens when you play along with a meme? You get tagged right back.

5 habits... let's see.

1. I play with my hair a lot- mainly to get rid of the tangles.

2. I put my pj's on at night as soon as possible. They're soooo much more comfortable than real clothes.

3. I can't leave the house without brushing my teeth. I can go out without makeup, but I have to have clean teeth.

4. I hate having dirty fingernails.

5. I've gotten into the habit lately of putting garlic powder on my popcorn (thanks, Karen). It's soooo goood!

Speaking of which, it's lunchtime and I'm hungry- and so are the boys. They both have a snow day today, so I'm home with them. It only took me 3 hours to get home last night. It normally takes about 30 minutes, plus another 15 or so to pick up both boys. Not last night! Philly got it this morning. Good luck ALa, Trek and Bill! You're gonna need it.

Wordsmith

You know, I was just wondering about something REALLY stupid after I left my last comment. It was to Trek. I told him that Cincinnati's been playing all Christmas-all-the-time on two radio stations since November 1. I said that it "irritates the shit outta me."
Got me thinking.

How, exactly, does one "irritate the shit" out of anything? I mean... come on! Is there some sort of special diet that makes that happen? Perhaps some of that toilet paper from port-o-john's that could double as sandpaper?

Could someone please explain to me how you can be "pissed off"??? And while we're on the subject, who came up with "Holy CRAP!" I mean, I know that Kevin played Jesus in the school play, but I stop short of calling his bodily functions anything near a religious experience.

Any why say "Holy Mother of GOD!"... why not just say "MARY!!!!!" and get it over with?

Oh... and how about calling something "pretty damn funny." I don't know about you, but I've never found Hell or being "damned" very funny, but yet I find myself saying that quite often. And speaking of things that are "pretty damn funny"... THIS is, well, pretty damn funny. I may not always like my job, but at least I won't lose my job for refusing to show my nipples to a gorilla.....

Spreading Christmas Cheer

OK...
I'm sure that you've all seen the incredible lights display set to Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Wizards in Winter". But did you know that that house is oh, like maybe... 30 minutes from me? HOLY CRAP! I had no idea... until he shut it down Tuesday due to the excessive traffic jams and the car accident. So frikkin' cool.

So...
I thought I'd direct you to some Christmas music instead.


heh. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

Oh- Kevin's Christmas play was really nice. He did a great job as Jesus!

My own personal Jesus

I love the song "Personal Jesus", but that phrase takes on a whole new meaning tonight as I watch Kevin portray Jesus in his school's Christmas play. He's taking it VERY seriously. When I took him to the fabric store to buy the fabric for the costume, he went around the whole store announcing "I'm JESUS!" And as soon as I got the fabric cut, he asked me if he could wear the costume home. I told him that I had to MAKE it first. He put his hands on his hips, looked me square in the eye with that "DUH" look on his face, and said "Well, Mommy... maybe NEXT TIME you'll bring your sewing machine to the store with you!"

I swear... that kid is going to be a comedian when he grows up.

He loves his costume. I finished it on Thanksgiving Day just in time for him to wear it to my Mom's house for dinner. Yep. Jesus came to dinner with us on Thanksgiving. He also went to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse the day after Thanksgiving. I was soooo tempted to say things like "Jesus Christ... eat your dinner" and "Jesus- stop talking". LOL!!! You should have the whispers as we walked by people in the restaurant... "hey look... that little boy is wearing a DRESS!" It was pretty darn funny.

But look how cute he is!!!

5 things

Alli tagged me.... DANG IT! It's been a long time since I've been tagged, so I figger I'll play along though.

So... here goes. 5 things you probably don't know about me- and, more than likely, don't really care about... hehe!

1. I HATE LOUD EATERS. Let me say that again, in case you missed it. I HATE LOUD EATERS. Especially gum-smackers. I cannot tell you how many times my boys have lost their gum-chewing privledges due to smacking.

2. My first car was an old Volkswagon Beetle. Bright orange. No defroster. And an exhaust system that vented into the car through the emergency brake. No wonder people called me a ditz in high school- I was just high on fumes....

3. I've never done drugs. I mean ANY drugs. Never smoked even so much as a cigarette. And I only drank underaged three times. I was a *good girl*... I swear!

4. Our new puppy reminds me of one of my first pets, a HUGE Doberman named "Killer". Killer was actually such a pushover that our toys were stolen from our backyard while he was in it, and he was so big my brother used to ride him around like a pony.

5. When I started college, I was an International Affairs/Political Science major. I was going to be an Ambassador when I grew up. I'll let you all know when I grow up.

Now.. for my 5 victims.. er, uh.. I mean BLOGGERS I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT.

Little Johnny jokes

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

====

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said
his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

====

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season
emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus
occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is
Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on
and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! ! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnn how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

====

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station
where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a
wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture
him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

====

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

Mmmmm....fresh as a....

OK.... so it was bathnight last night. I had Kevin in the shower and Thomas was in the tub, playing with his GI Joe boats. Kevin was done, and I figured Thomas was getting all pruny by now, so popped my head in the bathroom and asked him if he had washed his hair yet. He said yes, but then I took a quick look around. The water was a bit cloudy, so I asked Bryan what shampoo he used to wash Thomas's hair with.

"The orange bottle on the side of the tub" he said.

"You mean, the one with the picture of the GOLDEN RETRIEVER on it?" I said...laughing.

Well, at least we won't have to worry about his "annoying pet odor", and he was left with "a long-lasting fragrance that clings to the hair for up to two weeks- and that's not all! The formula also includes aloe vera to soothe the skin and extra conditioners to help make the coat shiny, manageable and free of mats and tangles. It all adds up to a pet that smells as great as it looks and feels, a pet you'll be proud to call your best friend."

*LAUGHING SOOOOOO HARD*

Somewhere

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane

When all the clouds darken up the skyway
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your windowpane

To a place behind the sun
Just a step beyond the rain

Somewhere, over the rainbow,
way up high,
There's a land that I've heard of
once in a lullaby.

Somewhere, over the rainbow,
skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
really do come true.

Someday I wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
My troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops,
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere, over the rainbow,
bluebirds fly,
Birds fly over the rainbow,
why then, oh why can't I?


Somewhere Over The Rainbow is one of my favorite songs. It tells the story of a girl in turmoil, searching for answers and peace.

It fits my mood today.